Suburban BDSM


Hope!
October 3, 2012, 12:52 pm
Filed under: the mundane, The nature of Kink

Met with a Dom yesterday, and I think this time it might be just right. No bs, no posing and no premature gestures of any kind. And he seems like a real nice guy too.

I simply can’t wait to our first real meeting.. (what? don’t like the session word). In a sense, this relationship can be more pure than any I could have with my husband, since I can be his sub all the time, and never have to be wife or mother.. friend and what not too. Can’t believe how excited I am, and I don’t think I’ve realised how much I’ve missed that place.. of surrender and reliance on a Master/Dom. Something more real than the casual “scene” followed by small talk and tv.

I was nervous like crazy yesterday, but now I just feel grounded and excited. There where moments, where I just wished it could have been hubbie, and not anyone else. Still remember the feeling of melting in to his eyes, completely at his mercy, feeling him engulf all that is me, knowing I would obey his every whim without hesitation.. But it can’t be a half hearted thing, and I still have hubbie the father and husband.. Maybe one day he’ll really feel the motivation again, and until then, this could be fantastic.

Subspace in the sense I’ve learned about it is btw different than what I’ve heard americans use it. They talked about it as the endorphin rush you get after a certain amount of pain. To me (and others, I’m sure) it’s a place of surrender, where you have given up your will and sense of autonomy to someone else.. Can be deeper or not so much so, but it’s definitely an altered state of consciousness.. A side of me that is always in me, but does not often come out to play any more.
Felt a little bad after I got a message from a fellow kinkster about the last post. I did like everyone I met at the play party. There wasn’t a single unpleasant person there, and everyone was friendly and nice. And as far as parties goes, it certainly wasn’t bad (at least I got to ogle some ass)

After the candle scene, I’ve had the most horrid marks. Some are just red and sore, but others have formed blisters, and the skin is peeling. I know I should have checked that the candles where of the right kind. It’s so stupid. And darn ugly too. Too bad I’ll be all marked for the first time with my potential something..

 

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1 Comment so far
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I’m very glad to hear this! I hope that your first real meeting will turn out great and that the horrid marks from the candles will heal quickly.

Comment by Kaelah




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