Suburban BDSM

Down and up
March 24, 2014, 2:49 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Yesterday, my husband and I had our date afternoon. Again we had the discussion of why I don’t want him to dom me at the moment. It’s too confusing. Have got to let go of those desires to be his sub so much, that I make myself and him miserable. Well. Prolly mostly myself.
Instead we did what we did last time. I service topped. It sounds a lot less fun than it is. I tied him up, and blindfolded him. Caressed him in all sorts of ways, licked and nibbled and just had fun whilst spoiling him rotten. I don’t enjoy dominating him (we’ve tried that), but this I do enjoy. A lot. Afterwards we just snuggled, embraced and relished being alone together, naked and with time on our hands. He’s agreed to do it more often. We tend to glide in to the roles of parents and problem solvers, and forgetting the lovers bit.
I hope in time we can also incorporate some (more intense) bdsm into our relationship. I think it will take a very different shape though. It might be part roleplaying, and maybe more akin to service topping in both directions. I suggested he might try topping as opposed to domming me, and the retort was he hasn’t ever done anything but that. I hope it wasn’t completely honest, but I guess I am to blame for it not working too. Asking too much for what I wanted, which by definition I don’t want. Am trying very hard not to make the same mistake with new dom. He is conscious of it too, and super experienced (and awesome!) which makes things a lot easier there, though.
It was an amazing weekend. With both men. Very different, and very satisfying both. I feel like I can glimpse an outline of what the future might hold for my husband and me. It’s infinitely comforting to feel more positive about that relationship. Having things work out with new dom, and slide with husband is very very scary to me. I know my relationship with new dom (who so needs a new short hand) is something completely different than what I have with my husband. It’s not a.. Pay the bills, do the laundry, care for the kids thing. And it feels different in every other way too. So it’s never going to be a replacement, it’s always going to be an add on. A mind blowingly awesome add on, but just the same. I guess it being that great sometimes makes me feel guilty. We’re still new at this, and my husband sadly subless. Hopefully time and habit will slowly change the way those things feel, and make all the difference.


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