Suburban BDSM

What’s in a name
August 7, 2014, 3:11 pm
Filed under: The nature of Kink

The word Slave is controversial on a good day? What it implies seem to vary.
It’s someone who is owned by someone else, for sure. That part I kinda like. I’d love to be someone’s property, to do with as they see fit… To be used when ever they want, and kneel at their feet waiting for their slightest gesture, to please their every desire.

There are two midgets to whom I am tied more intensely than anything on this earth, and I know I could never be someone’s other than for very limited periods of time. Still the idea appeals to me

There’s another side to being a slave though. The side where the Master cares little for the slave, and simply takes her work and presence for granted. It’s romanticized intensely by many women with submissive natures. I see it everywhere. The highly romantic submissive pinning away for the slightest touch of their Master, analyzing indifference and neglect in a way to make it look like love and domination.
“He decided he wouldn’t use me for the week, but let me learn the valuable lesson of my position by fucking my sister slave instead”
No, honey. It isn’t care and teaching. He doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings, wants, needs. It’s not romance, it’s neglect.
Some may actually want neglect.
I don’t though. And when ever I read those often reeeeaaally lengthy entries, I cringe.
Maybe it’s in the nature of most humans to eventually take for granted and ignore really submissive people. But life is too short, and I’ll never want that again. I do work all day now, never having anyone appreciate my work, but at least I choose it, and I labor under no illusions about how it will please any Master.
I guess deep down, I don’t want to be the woman assigned to do all the work that men feel their time is too valuable to do. Only to be noticed if not done well enough, and then with righteous indignation and attacks on my femininity. It really doesn’t feel satisfactory to me in the least.

I guess I had made this picture in my head of a Master who really saw me, and wanted good things for me. Who knew that serving him was of value, and that my time and effort wasn’t worthless. Who’d make me do housework for specific reasons, but who’d work hard too. Not mowing the lawn and cleaning the gutters as some sort of exchange (it REALLY doesn’t cut it in the least). Nor would he feel like he was too good for anything. He’d see me.. Care for me, and make sure that I’d have a variety of tasks for my sake too. His mastery would be one of trying to make the most of me. Not as to wring out every drop of use out of me so his bathroom would shine, but because he’d care for me.
And I guess that just isn’t slavery.
I never want to pine away in despair for a look or tiny bit of attention from any man ever again. It’s a waste of my time and resources and an insult. Men who’d demand that are not what I want.

I guess it’s in the reciprocal relationship between a submissive and a dominant, both invested in it, that I want to be. Domination is love to me.. Specific domination though.
I guess I’m still more intense than most subs. I’d like the whole… Tied up at the foot of the bed, sucking him off as he watches tv, rape and (not overlooked) service. But waisting my emotions, intellect, time and effort on essentially air… Never ever again.
So I don’t want to use that label again. It’s not me. And it makes me intensely angry to see it. Angry for all the hours of
weeping over unworthy men, ironing, cooking, cleaning and never getting anything in return. Fuck that.
I want! And I’ll fucking get now


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