Suburban BDSM

A sub and a sub, a Dom and a Dom
October 1, 2012, 1:50 pm
Filed under: The American way

As soon as I step into the room, I feel the hush inside me. Here I am another person, and my actions and attitudes have consequences. Four Doms and two Dommes are sitting in the chairs. Around them submissives m/f are kneeling or sitting on the floor. Everyone is wearing clothes appropriate to their stations. There are corsets and high heels, leather pants and black shirts. It is a thrill just to look at the people, all shapes and forms, but all dressed up to the ninth.

Obediently, I kneel at the feet of my Master. He pulls my hair back, looks into my eyes, and tells me to go get him a drink. I scamper to comply. The Bartender is dominant, and I ask him politely for a Coke. Not polite enough for him. He asks me to curtsey any time I meet him, or talk to him. I comply, but he still feels it is necessary for my Master to know of my disrespect. When I kneel again, handing the Coke to Master, he tells me to put my head down and ass in the air. Then he smacks me a few times. Hard, to make his point. My eyes water, and I feel embarrassment at the exposure, and for having let down Master..
After I’ve thanked him like a good sub, I sit and talk quietly with the others.. Slowly people move out into the room. The conversation quiets further, as we look at the beautiful things around us. Later Master takes me to the bench and punishes me for some infractions during the week. Then he sits at the bar while I’m tied up. He lets one of the Dommes use me, as he either watches or talks, or join other scenes. I can always feel his presence, his influence and protection. When we leave the atmosphere still fills me for hours, like a lingering embrace. The real world seems somehow less real

This is what I came from. I knew it would be different, but I had no idea.

As I get closer, the distinctive smell of frying fills the air. As we step into a crowded kitchen, I see some men wearing stained t-shirts, and some women in everyday clothes. There are two men in shirts, and I know I’m the cause of that. They are in a party mood, and they are loud and rowdy. Lots and lots of open bottles fill the kitchen counter. There is a silent feeling of  “dare, dare, dare” in the air, and slowly we sit down to eat. The rowdy mood has only intensified, and people are drinking heavily. They are talking about how drunk they might get, and about alcohol. It is impossible to tell who’s a Dom and a sub, and everyone seem to be poking at everyone.

One woman makes fun of the “kneel slave” type dom, and I feel a pang of nostalgia. Some talk about getting marks, and about inciting Doms to make them act. I am trying very hard to fit this into something I can relate too, and I am hopeful, excited but also feeling very much out of my water.. Yes, and maybe a little disappointed. The food is good, and everyone seems happy. Roles and levels of participation are established through a round. Then two people strip down completely, and not long after that people go out in groups to beat on each other. Everything is very consensual, and nobody seems to be anyones sub in any sense I can recognise.

The person I have talked to about a “play time” is setting up, and since he has told me I go first, I go to him. I must initiate myself, and I ask him if I should go change. I’m still wearing jeans and a t-shirt. When I change, there are some people laughing, and playing with electricity. It does look nice, but to me it has nothing to do with being a sub. It seems obvious that these people are into receiving pain. I don’t bother with all my nice dress up, but simply put on a shirt skirt and teddy (sexier than it sounds), and hurry over to my very first “play partner”.

He scratches me sensually, then flogs me and canes me softly. He’s very skilled, obviously, knows just when to strike, when to pause and stroke, and when to hit a little harder. I try to loose myself in it, but it’s no good. It is like a very pleasant massage, making me more sleepy than horny. When the pain starts to intensify, I ask him to stop, apologize, and scamper off.

I spend most of the rest of the night wandering around looking a little, but never seeing anything to really stir me. My friend ties up his wife and whips her in a hog tie, that’s about the hottest sight all night.

Other than that it seems to be mostly the subs in charge, and the Doms that please them. What I would just call masochists and well.. Men (and woman). The only time anything really stirs, is my friends hand in my hair, pulling my head back. He doesn’t take it further than that, but it’s nice to know that at least one person understands a little. I feel like I’m about to burst, that’s how much I long for strong hands to hold me down and punish and abuse me. Just on otk real spanking would be such a release. The doms are either occupied, unable or too drunk. Besides, asking for it directly would be very awkward. I still have no idea how to even approach anyone about anything. Obviously the rules between subs and doms are not the same here, and they even mean something completely different. And politely asking to be forced and subdued just seems wrong somehow

I participate in a candle scene, and it is at least a little brutal, and it’s obvious the drippers enjoy themselves through my swearing and wriggling. It’s something, I tell myself on the way home in the car. Nothing like a little burn to help you cope. Mostly I’m just deflated and disappointed. Now at least I know why nobody here has understood me. When they hear Master, they think service top. The want to please you with a flogger. Maybe an updated profile will help. Everyone has been very nice. Not for a moment have I felt threatened or insecure about anything. Maybe in time..



Integration is hard
September 29, 2012, 3:43 pm
Filed under: The American way

Am going to my first American play party this evening. I am guardedly excited, it’ll be nice to meet some fellow kinksters, and see how things work out here.. I have set up one and a half play times , which is also a new concept for me, but apparently everybody is just free to do whatever with whomever, and then from 7-7:30 you get your ass kicked from some guy, if you’d like.
Right now I see all these Americans standing around in some living room wearing sweat pants and t-shirts, talking with potatoes in their mouths, and waiting for the female sub to take the initiative. Then when that happens, the guy either grunts an assent or shakes his head, then ask how he may please the woman.. “would you like to be beaten with this?? Maybe some bondage?? Is this pleasant, oh strong independent woman?”. At least it’s not intimidating.. and I have friends who are coming too.. in which role, I have no idea.
if nothing else it’ll be an interesting anthropological study. Am starting to doubt that I am really from the same planet as these people, though

Suburban BDSM

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